Dying to One's Self Is Not Easy

It seems the past few weeks or so I have been reading or hearing things that point to the need for Christians to "Die to their former selves and be reborn into their new life with Christ!" At first I was dismissing these "cues" as if to say, "I was baptized and I have repented of my sins. God loves me now and that is that!" I think God wanted me to hear more.

In my Sunday morning class at my church...we have been talking about how you must undergo a severe humbling process in order to turn your life fully over the the will of God. You must give up your own will, not only in mind, but in body, to the will of the Father. Even if the desires to continue in our sinful ways pull hard on our hearts, it's what the body does that shows the true desires of our hearts. We may confess all day long that we want to give up our sins, addictions, and selfish behaviors, but when we continue to choose to wallow in our hopelessness and choose not to act on our faith in God, we are showing that we are still giving in to the desire of our hearts to do what We want to do not what God wants us to do.

I have also been reading a book called "When Heaven Weeps" by Ted Dekker. In it the main character keeps referring to how Christians as a whole refuse to join Christ in His cruel and terrible death in order to show His love to others. He states we are perfectly fine to confess the love of Jesus, but we refuse to get our hands dirty to work to show that love. We say we love others, but if it means pain and suffering for ourselves, we will choose Self over Others every time.

God calls us to die our old self and join Christ in death. It is absolutely necessary to do this in order to fully understand, accept and act upon His Grace. There is a quote from the book that stands out..."Is the death of the will any less painful than the death of the body? Call it figurative if it makes you comfortable, but in reality the death of the will is far more traumatic than the death of the body." " In the death of the body the nerve endings soon stop feeling. In the death of the will the heart doesn't stop its bleeding so quickly."

Giving up our selfish will is hard to do. It's something I myself need to come face to face with. I am scared to death to do it. I have been a Christian for some time, but It's hard to show any tangible evidence of my faith as far as actively loving others is concerned. Recent events in my life have caused me to be much less judgemental when it comes to looking at the sins and actions of others, but I still have a hard time actively loving them.

My New Year's Resolution is to pray that God allows me to die to old self and be reborn a person who is fully capable of loving others the same way that He loves me. I am terrified of how God may choose to do this, but I know it will be the best thing for me. I am ready, I think. Pray for Me!