Someone Needs to Explain the Family Rules to the Cat

Every since our cat Scout, aka: The Fuzzball, had come into our home, he has been acting like he owns the place. He drinks out of your water glass. He sticks his head in the sink while you are shaving, getting in your way. He jumps on the table just to sniff at what you are trying to eat. He climbs into any lower level shelving space, if you happen to leave the door open just a little bit. He will hide in the closet and attack your feet as you are looking for clothes. He moves socks and wash rags all over the house and leaves them in the strangest places. Finally, he sleeps in our bed, right in between my wife and I. Someone really needs to put him in his place.

It certainly won't be my bride, Jamie. She loves that cat, almost as much as the me and the kids. In fact, that cat has awoken a whole new side of her, that I haven't seen in a long time. Her affection for the cat has spilled over into more affection for me and the kids and she is not as cranky. She will let that cat get away with almost anything.

It certainly won't be my daughter, Rachel. She loves that fuzzball and would actually let him eat her cereal, if it just wasn't too gross. She builds play toys for the cat out of cardboard boxes and other materials she finds around the house. Several months ago she used almost $80 of her own allowance money to buy the cat a "tree house" for him to play and sleep in.

It won't be my son, Caleb. He has been trying to lure the cat into sleeping on his bed with him since we have owned him. The cat even tore up one his favorite video game guides and Caleb didn't even care. After all the cat was just being a cat.

It won't be our dog, Schnitzel. The dog will end up blowing out his back trying to play with the cat. Plus, I think the dog is a little scared of the cat, even though Scout does not have any front claws.

I guess it will have to be me. I set the law down with the dog, and Schnitzel loves me more than anyone. I am the only one who puts the cat back on the ground when he jumps on the table or into our sink. I have always heard that dogs have owners but cats have staff. Maybe this cat needs to learn who is the real boss around here.

What...? Oh wait, I will have to finish this thought later, the cat needs his litter box cleaned and changed. Coming....Kitty.