Oliver

Let me introduce you to Oliver. Oliver is the nickname I have given to my Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). OCD manifest itself in many ways. Some people with severe forms of the disorder would remind you of Monk, which is one my favorite TV shows. Others compulsively wash their hands, check locked doors, turn on and off lights or count things over and over again. Lucky for me my OCD is not quite so bad; but Oliver does interfere with my life in negative ways.

Oliver is responsible for my creating lists. I make lists of almost everything. When I get nervous or bored, I make a list of the Presidents or the States. I make to-d0 lists of chores for me, or what I think the family needs to do. I have a list of my 100 favorite movies and my 25 dumbest movies. Now, these list by themselves are not so bad, but every time I watch a movie or think of something I have to do, I must list it. I must write it down or I verbally "list" on my wife, what I need to do. She hates that. I constantly "list" on my kids about what to do next or I repeat my schedule to them 5-6 times daily. When we go on trips, I must follow the directions exactly or follow the schedule as close as possible. This is just part of Oliver's obsessive behavior.

Oliver's compulsiveness shows when I see a commercial for a show I want to watch. I must schedule the show on our DVR, "RIGHT NOW!" I can't wait. I have to do it now. If I find something in a store I want to buy, I want to buy it "RIGHT NOW!" If I don't buy it, Oliver will obsess about it, for me, reminding me, I have to buy it. If I see a cup or a plate left out from a meal or a box of cookies sitting on a side table, I can not rest until I put them away. I used to pay bills, the day they arrived in the mail. I could not wait until pay day, they had to be paid NOW! Thank God, I don't do that anymore. If I think of something I want to write on this blog, I want to do it as quickly as possible. Everything has to be right NOW!

Although not life threatening, Oliver does cause problems. I am irritable easily as I battle him for control of my life and my family. I have trouble staying focused and I tend to take out my anger at Oliver on my family and friends. Not Good!

I am very glad to be in battle with Oliver. I am attempting to limit his control over my life. I am working a Twelve Step program, similar to what Addicts work to stop drug or alcohol abuse. So far I have seen improvement, but Oliver is still there. For those who have their own "Oliver", there is hope for you. Maybe one day I can stop Oliver once and for all, but for now, it's MY God verses Oliver, and we know who is going to win!