What's More Important Golf or Marriage (Oh Wait, It's Money)

I'm sure if you have even sniffed at the news recently or read the tabloid headlines in the grocery lines, you know all about Tiger Woods, his admission of adultery and his decision to take a break from golf to focus on rebuilding his marriage. You would think from all the news agencies that Tiger's decision to take a break from golf would end the sport forever.

First of all I applaud Tiger's decision to focus on rebuilding his marriage. Second, I applaud his wife for forgiving him and choosing to rebuild her marriage. Adultery is, of course, a very damaging sin that takes down many a marriage; however, it is only a symptom of things that were already going wrong in the marriage. Both of them have to take some of the blame for those failures.

Golf will live on with or without Tiger Woods. Yes, it may take a dip in the ratings, but I think a small shrinkage of income for professional golfers and their sponsors is worth saving a marriage. Tiger and his family deserve to have their privacy and the chance to save their marriage. After all isn't marriage sacred to God? Oh wait, I forgot, it is the power of money that controls what others think. No wonder they would rather focus on how Tiger's "problems" will impact golf and his mega-sponsors than on how Tiger and his wife are taking a noble step to rebuild and strengthen what is most important.

Just in case Tiger or his wife ever read this blog... I will be praying for you and your family (not golf). May God be with you!

Marriage Education and the Church

As you know, my wife, Jamie, and I are trained to teach a variety of marriage education curriculums. We have been trying to get a class started at our church for a few weeks now and it has been highly suggested to us that we hold off until August to start our class. The reasons given to us are:

1) It will be too soon after the last marriage class was taught.
2) You will have trouble getting enough people to commit to the class.
3) Church couples don't believe they need the class because they already have a good marriage. and
4) Couples don't want a class that is to personal and will possibly cause them to "air their dirty laundry" in front of other church members.

How sad I felt when I heard this. Especially after one of our elders told me he personally knows of three or four couples whose marriages are in trouble. He also told me the elders support the idea of the class and they know it is needed but they won't take the class themselves. Again that made me very sad.

Divorce rates among active church going people is almost exactly the same as the those who do not attend church or claim any religion at all. People in churches struggle with the same issues as people outside the church and they are just as afraid to seek help for those struggles because of self pride or because they are afraid they will be "embarrassed" and "shunned" by their peers.

What a sad state of affairs when your church family will not act like a church family and support each other when we struggle. We are so afraid that others will look down on us because we are not "perfect" that we let our marriages fail, to attempt to uphold an image of perfection.

Elders, Pastors and other church leaders need to not only support strong marriages with their lips but support it with their actions. They need to take the classes so they can see "first-hand" how these programs can make their flocks stronger and better able to help the communities they serve.

What do you think?

Marriage Partners for Life

Jamie and I are now trained facilitators of two highly effective marriage education courses; Dynamic Marriages and Prepare & Enrich! We can also teach other marriage curriculums as well, but we don't have to be "certified" to teach them.

Jamie and I are dedicated to helping save and protect marriages in our community. God saved our marriage several years ago and we plan on doing our best to help save other marriages as well. We hope to start a marriage specific ministry at our church, where we teach others important skills that they need to keep their marriages strong or get new and future marriages off to a great start.

Divorces happen in our nation at a rate of once every 45 seconds. The "Enemy" is out there and he is out to destroy us one marriage at a time. We hope to thwart him whenever possible.

That being said, pray for our marriage as well. We can not help others if our marriage is not strong itself. Satan will definitely try to take us down.

Dynamic Marriages and ME!

This weekend, Jamie and I are going to take a class to become certified instructors for Dynamic Marriages. We get to spend 3 days together getting to know the curriculum from the inside out to better serve marriages in our community. Because Dynamic Marriages is primarily religious in nature, I cannot teach this curriculum as part of my job with Twogether in Texas, but I can teach it at my church or offer the classes to the community as a whole, on my own time.

Despite the fact that the Texas Legislature, is seriously considering cutting the funding for Twogether in Texas, I think it is a great thing for me to become a certified facilitator for Dynamic Marriages. Even if the State takes funding away for marriage education, my wife and I will continue to support healthy marriages anyway.

About 4 years ago, Jamie and I went through a Dynamic Marriage Class, while we lived in
Gilmer. It was a great class and we have wanted to teach it to others since then. Now we are getting our chance.

Do You Know Your Spouse? A Quiz for You

I found this quiz from Scott's blog, Honey I Fed the Kids! I thought I would give it a try. Jamie, let me know how I did?

1. She's sitting in front of the TV, what is on the screen? She would be watching ICarly with the kids, a Lifetime Movie, The 70's show or The Office!

2. You're out to eat; what kind of dressing does she get on her salad? None, she likes her salad naked! Hubba-Hubba.

3. What's one food she doesn't like? Sauerkraut (I cheated on this one, I just had lunch with her and I sort of brought it up in conversation.)

4. You go out to the bar. What does she order? A Margarita

5. Where did she go to high school? Howe High School in Howe, Texas (Go Bulldogs!)

6. What size shoe does she wear? I think a women's 8. I know I wear an 8 in men's and her foot is about my size.


7. If she was to collect anything, what would it be? She used to collect Coca-Cola stuff, and then she collected cows. Now she collects anything Beth Moore or hugs from our cat Scout.


8. What is her favorite type of sandwich? She is not much of a sandwich eater, but she does like a roasted-chicken breast sandwich at Subway!


9. What would she eat every day if he could? Chocolate, especially M&M's


10. What is her favorite cereal? Fiber-One or something else healthy. She used to love Fruity Pebbles in college.


11. What would she never wear? A "sexy" Halloween costume or any outfit that makes her look like a ... well you know!

12. What is her favorite sports team? She doesn't keep up with sports much, but she does like watching the Texas Rangers with me!

13. Who will she vote for? She would have voted for John Edwards or Hillary Clinton in the last election, but alas they did not get their party's nomination.

14. Who is her best friend? Other than Jesus or myself, I don't know if she has "ONE" best friend. Her best friend in high school was Sandra and in college it was Heather or Lisa.

15. What is something you do that she wishes you wouldn't do? Eat unhealthy things. She is worried I might not live to see our grand kids if I don't start eating better and working to improve my health. Another thing is to stop being so negative about things. It has a way of showing in the way I deal with my kids and my attitude towards work and life in general.

16. How many states has she lived in? Only in Texas (but in 14 different locations in Texas). She did get stuck in Arizona for a week when she was younger.

17. What is her heritage? Judging from her pale skin, I would say a lot of German. According to her family tree, she is a mix of English, French and German.


18. You bake her a cake for her birthday; what would it be? Anything Chocolate.


19. Did she play sports in high school? Only when forced by the P.E. teacher! Marching Band counts as a P.E. credit, does it count as a sport?

20. What could she spend hours doing? Sitting on the couch with me touching her feet and legs and cuddling with the cat. She could also spend time reading if she had a lot of extra time.


21. What's something cool about her? She loves me despite my flaws. She has a way of seeing the positive in all the things I see the negative in. She loves our kids and especially our cat Scout.

Where can I Buy Some Delicious Activia Yogurt? + Marriage Enrichment

Jamie and I recently purchased several containers of Activia Yogurt. Inside the cardboard packages that hold the containers of yogurt, there is a series of Frequently Asked Questions. One of the questions was, "Where can I purchase Activia brand yogurt?"

Think about it....

The answer the box gave was, "Activia brand yogurts are sold in many food stores around the world, just go to the refrigerated section and look for the Activia brand."...or something like that.

The real answer is obvious, just go buy you some Activia yogurt and open the package and then you will know where to go! I just thought this was funny!

On a different note: My family and I are going to watch the movie Fireproof tonight! It is just one of the things Jamie and I are doing to strengthen our marriage. Jamie is also co-teaching a marriage enrichment class at our church as well. I am also attending the class. She is teaching the Five Love Languages by: Dr. Gary Chapman. I have also purchased the book The Love Dare, which is based on the movie Fireproof.

Jamie and I both place a strong emphasis on keeping our marriage strong, which is why I am so glad I work for the organization I work for!

One last thing...Check out this guy's Sidewalk Art it is incredible! VERY COOL!

Saving Marriages Before They Start

The State of Texas has come up with a great idea! Rather than complaining about the number of divorces, child support cases, and the number of family abuse cases, they have decided to do something to try and help prevent all of this from happening.

As of September 1, 2008, the State of Texas raised its fees to get a marriage license from $30.00 to $60.00 (not counting local county fees); however, a couple who completes a pre-marital education class of at least 8 hours in length can get the $60.00 license fee waived. The class must be based on an accepted curriculum that focuses on improving communication skills, conflict resolution skills and other elements of healthy marriages. The curriculum can be secular or faith-based in nature. Couples who choose not to participate in these classes must pay the full price for their marriage license.

They are trying to save marriages before they even start! The program in charge of making sure there are plenty of marriage education classes is the Twogether in Texas program.

Let's pray that this small incentive plants many seeds that helps marriages in Texas get off a to a good start and learn to love for a lifetime!

Speaking of promoting good marriages...see my previous blog and read about and watch the trailer, for a great movie about saving marriages called Fireproof.

Mr. E has a New Job!

As of today, I am now the Healthy Marriage Outreach Coordinator for the Twogether in Texas Program, based out of The Longview Wellness Center in Longview, TX. I officially start on August 1st, but I signed some of the preliminary paperwork today. I have been waiting for about a week to find out if I had the job, and now I do! Hurray for me!

Thank you God for blessing me with this new opportunity!

I will be leaving my current job as a Teacher of Adult Education at Kilgore College-Longview, on July 31st!

Thank you (fellow bloggers) for your prayers as well!

How Healthy Marriages are Important to a Community

As part of my job interview tonight I am supposed to make a three-minute speech about How healthy marriages are important to a community. Here is what I am planning on saying, barring any last minute changes....

Why I Think Healthy Marriages Are Important to a Community

I believe strong and healthy marriages are essential to the growth and development of the community. They can impact a community on several levels.

Healthy marriages most visibly impact our community in the effects they have on our children. Parents in healthy marriages have the potential to shape the future of their society in how they impact their children. Children learn many of their moral principles and guidelines in life from their parents. It is upon that foundation of beliefs, that future generations will conduct not only their personal lives, but how they conduct business, treat others, and their own children.

Speaking from personal experiences, I have witnessed the impact of both healthy and unhealthy marriages on today’s children. Children who come from strong marriages tend to be more well rounded in their beliefs, their commitment to education, and their treatment of their fellow students and teachers. Children from healthy marriages have a greater self-esteem and a greater sense of wanting to achieve goals and ambitions that will benefits others. Children from healthy marriages have better problem solving skills and a wiliness to help others solve problems as well. Children from healthy marriages are less likely to involve themselves in destructive behaviors in order to seek the love and acceptance that children from unhealthy marriages often do. Healthy marriages, more often than not, produce healthy children. Children who grow up in healthy marriages generally do not become burdens to their community when they reach maturity. Instead they seek out ways to improve the community as well as their own families and marriages.

A community will often spend large amounts of time of money attempting to help children of unhealthy marriages. They will create programs to treat addictive behaviors, such as drugs, alcohol and sex. They will create programs to promote abstinence, in order to curtail teen pregnancies and the spread of STD’s. A community will hire specialize police officers to deal with growing gang violence. Schools will spend money on specialized buildings and teachers to house students who cannot function in a school environment. Cities will build prisons to house the most violent of children. All of this can be stopped or reduced if a community would focus on the root of these problems; the break-up of our families.

Truly healthy marriages produce young adults who are better equipped to handle the challenges of today’s world. These children would have seen first hand how to properly handle disagreements between adults. They would have witnessed first-hand how husbands and wives show love and respect to each other. These children would have a moral set of rules to live by, that when consistently enforced, will teach them how to show respect to authority and live by the laws of the community. These children would have been taught the proper ways to budget and spend money, so that they will not spend beyond their means and have to rely upon the charity of others to help them. These children will have learned how to show charity to others, so they become partners in recovery for those in need, rather than idle watchers.

Healthy marriages show a community’s commitment and hope towards the future. It shows that a community has not adopted the “throw away” attitude of the rest of the world. When a community shows that it is committed to saving the most sacred of institutions, then a community will put forth that same effort in how it conducts business and how it treats its fellow communities.

As you can see having healthy marriages are not just the “moral thing” to do, they are a vital part, if not the life-blood of a thriving and growing community. Don’t you agree?

7-22-08 -- This blog earned a Genius reading level! Cool...maybe this is why I got the job!

An Incredible Weekend

My wife and I returned from our Vow Marriage Retreat weekend today. What a weekend! It was probably the best few days I have spent with my wife in a long time, if not ever. The Location was at Pine Cove Christian Camp near Tyler, TX. When we arrived Friday night we heard a speaker who gave us a few lessons on communication. His topic was taken from the books by Emmerson & Sarah Eggerichs called, Love and Respect. After the speaker we took a "hayride" around the camp. The night stars were a beautiful testimony of God's presence there.

The next day started with my wife and I getting up and sitting on a bench together overlooking the sunrise at it rose over the camp pond. After a terrific breakfast, we took a horseback ride around the camp. It was a blast! My horse was named Ulysses and my wife's horse was called V-8. Although my wife was a little nervous, after her last horse riding experience, she really enjoyed the ride. We want to go back or plan our horse riding experience with our children. Then we heard Part 1 of seminar over basic management of money, by looking at our spending habits as a couple. After a great lunch, we finished off the money management seminar by listening to a fellow who does money management counseling with couples. Although we picked up a few things, to me it was the most boring part of the weekend.

Later that afternoon, my bride and I tried our best to climb a rock wall. It was much harder than it looked. Even though we didn't make it very high, at least we tried. Then we immediately went down a zip-line that was about 30-35 feet high. We are both terrified of heights, but we did it anyway, despite a couple of attempts by me to "chicken out." I am so glad we did it though. We conquered our fears together. Next came a short class on how couples can learn to play together like we did during our dating time. It was fun to reminisce on the past of dating and look forward to playing with other again. That evening, after a wonderful dinner, the moment my wife and I were waiting for came, The Dance Lessons.

My wife and I had spent the days before the retreat looking for pairs of dance shoes, which of course comes with a new dress for my wife. Needless to say, when it came time for the dance lessons, my wife and I "out dressed" the other couples. When we arrived, I could see the heads of the other husbands, look over at my wife, and the jealous eyes of the other wives, were looking close at my very sexy wife. I felt so proud to be with my wife at that moment. This attractive, sharp dressed lady, was with me! The dance lessons were outstanding. We learned basic waltz, tango and double-two step. Other couples told us the next day we were "tearing up" the dance floor. I loved dancing with my wife. I loved being close to her, moving with her, and looking deeply into her eyes as we moved in rhythm to the music. Yes, I did step on her toes once or twice, but overall I think we did very well. We can't wait to go dancing again! (P.S. Another couple did catch us on video doing some dancing together. They are supposed to e-mail us the video. If they do I will post it so you can see us.)

The next morning, My wife and I woke up to a pancake breakfast. Then we took a canoe ride around the pond. While on the pond, we saw the horses we rode on the day before stopping by the pond for a cool drink. They looked so majestic as they stood on the bank watching these amateur canoeist. It was a perfect ending to a perfect weekend with my wife. I love my wife so much and am so glad we went on this retreat together. I will cherish the memories of this weekend forever. Thank you, LORD for my wife, my family, and our commitment to help our marriage and family grow stronger in You!